A rose by any other name is still a prick

Someone in the office just identified herself to me as a "Lieberman Democrat." Let's get one thing straight. There's no such thing as a "Lieberman Democrat." A "Lieberman Democrat" is a Republican. End of story.

Fly like an eagle...into a tree

Here's the Eagles rewrite (the original and the accompanying dilemna is here). The changes are in bold.

If Jackson Browne was the superego of the 1970s California singer-songwriter movement, then the Eagles were pure unadulterated id. To some, the Eagles embodied the death of Woodstock Nation and created the soundtrack to what Joni Mitchell called “The Me Decade.” To others, they simply wrote well-crafted songs that perfectly walked the line between country and rock and roll.

While critics would accuse them of being misogynist, decadent, politically incorrect and, sometimes, downright obnoxious, they also owned the pop charts from 1974 to 1980 with nine Top 10 hits, including six in a row from 1974 to 1977, and five charttopping hits. Their first greatest hits collection is among the best selling albums of all time.

Guitarist Glenn Frey and drummer Don Henley were part of the backup band for Linda Ronstadt in the early 1970s, when Ronstadt was a regular at the legendary West Hollywood club The Troubadour. The club became a hotbed of local singer-songwriters talent. The scene included Jackson Browne, who would co-write the Eagles first hit, “Take It Easy” with Frey.

Frey and Henley were joined by bassist Randy Meisner, a member of the Buffalo Springfield-offshoot Poco, and Bernie Leadon, a guitarist and banjo player from Gram Parsons’ Flying Burrito Brothers. Originally conceived as a rock n roll band, producer Glyn Johns reorganized the Eagles to focus on their tight harmonies to achieve a mellow country-rock flavor. The band scored hits with “Take It Easy,” “Witchy Woman,” and “Peaceful Easy Feeling.”

They added a second guitarist Don Felder in 1974, which toughened their sound somewhat, but their biggest successes were still in the country-rock vein with hits like “The Best Of My Love,” “Lyin’ Eyes,” and “Take It To The Limit.”

When Joe Walsh arrived in 1976, replacing Leadon, most of the country was stripped out of the band (“New Kid In Town” was the notable exception), and in its place was a twin slide guitar attack that recalled the Allman Brothers at their most accessible but with none of their looseness. Nothing in the Eagles’ formula was left to chance, and the result was a pristine sheen that continues to waft from classic rock radio to this day in songs like “Hotel California” and “Life In The Fast Lane.” Deciding they’d had enough of one another, they split in 1980.

They would reconvene in 1994 for the Hell Freezes Over album and tour, so-called because up to that point, that was how they answered the inevitable question, “When will the Eagles get back together?” It was pretty much the first joke they cracked in their entire career (unless “The Greeks Don’t Want No Freaks” counts).

They reunited again in 2003 for their “Farewell Tour I.” If they had applied as much imagination and humor to their music as they did to their tour names, perhaps rock critics would like them more. As it is, they’ll settle for being one of the best selling acts of all time.

Sidebar:
Flying solo

Glenn Frey embarked on a career that reflected his love for southern soul music and scored an occasional Top 10 soundtrack hit with “The Heat Is On” from Beverly Hills Cop in 1984 and “You Belong To The City,” from the television show Miami Vice in 1985.

Henley would fare better commercially by departing from the Eagles’ sound, favoring a harder edge both in sound and subject matter. “Dirty Laundry” was a scathing indictment of television news that made No. 3 in 1982. “The Boys Of Summer,” a collaboration with Tom Petty’s guitarist Mike Campbell, reached No. 5 in 1984 and was one of the finest songs of the decade.

By 1989, Henley was trafficking in much of the same sexism and macho posturing that would mar the worst of his output with the Eagles. Only the Reagan broadside “The End Of The Innocence” made much of an inroad in the charts, although the accompanying album would be his best seller.

A Simple Twist Of Fate

Somewhere, the irony gods are laughing their asses off. Turns out the publishers may be able to get The Eagles to write a forward to the book. Only one problem. I loathe the Eagles. They represent virtually everything I hate about rock n roll, and I was unable to hide my contempt in the profile I wrote. My editor, bless her heart, liked what I wrote but wanted me to tone down, which I think I can do without whoring myself (further). But I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that the book I'm writing (let's face it, I can't call it "my book." It ain't my book. It's their book.)will be endorsed by one of the most despicable bands in rock. Oh well, I guess as the boys themselves say: Get over it.

Here's the unedited piece as I originally wrote it, as I want my friends to know how I really think before I sell my soul. Tony has since caught the dropped words, typos and grammatical errors. The next post will have the rewrite.

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If Jackson Browne was the superego of the 1970s California singer-songwriter movement, then the Eagles were pure unadulterated id. Unapologetically misogynist, decadent and politically incorrect, the Eagles embodied the death of Woodstock Nation and created the soundtrack to what Joni Mitchell called “The Me Decade.”

They also owned the pop charts from 1974 to 1980 with nine Top 10 hits, including six in a row from 1974 to 1977, and five charttopping hits. Their first greatest hits collection is among the best selling albums of all time.

Guitarist Glenn Frey and drummer Don Henley, were the backup band for Linda Ronstadt in the early 1970s, when Ronstadt was a regular at the legendary West Hollywood club The Troubadour. At the time a scene was coalescing around the club that included Jackson Browne, who would co-write the Eagles first hit, “Take It Easy” with Frey.

Frey and Henley were joined by bassist Randy Meisner, a member of Buffalo Springfield-offshoot Poco, and Bernie Leadon, a guitarist and banjo player from Gram Parsons’ Flying Burrito Brothers. Originally conceived as a rock n roll band, producer Glyn Johns reorganized the band to focus on their tight harmonies and a mellow country-rock flavor. The results were an instant success, scoring hits with “Take It Easy,” “Witchy Woman,” and “Peaceful Easy Feeling.”

They added a second guitarist Don Felder in 1974, which toughened their sound somewhat, but their biggest successes were still in the country-rock vein with hits like “The Best Of My Love,” “Lyin’ Eyes,” and “Take It To The Limit.”

When Joe Walsh arrived in 1976 (replacing Leadon), most of the country was stripped out of the band (“New Kid In Town” was the notable exception), and in its place was a twin slide guitar attack that recalled the Allman Brothers at their most accessible but with none of their looseness. Nothing in the Eagles’ formula was left to chance. And the result was a pristine sheen that continues to waft from classic rock radio to this day in songs like “Hotel California” and “Life In The Fast Lane.”

Deciding they’d had enough of one another, they split in 1980.

They would reconvene in 1994 for the Hell Freezes Over album and tour, so-called because up to that point, that was how they answered the inevitable question, “When will the Eagles get back together?” It was pretty much the first joke they cracked in their entire career (unless “The Greeks Don’t Want No Freaks” counts).

They reunited again in 2003 for their “Farewell Tour I.” If they had applied as much imagination and humor to their music as they did to their tour names, perhaps they would be considered one of rock’s more important artists. As it is, they’ll settle for being one of the best selling acts of all time.

Sidebar:
Flying solo

Glenn Frey embarked on a career purveying third rate imitations of Memphis soul and an occasional Top 10 soundtrack hit with “The Heat Is On” from Beverly Hills Cop and “You Belong To The City,” from the television show Miami Vice.

Henley would fare better both commercially and artistically by departing completely from the Eagles’ sound a harder edge both in sound and subject matter. “Dirty Laundry” was a scathing indictment of television news that made No. 3 in 1982. “The Boys Of Summer,” was a song that Heartbreakers guitarist Mike Campbell submitted to Tom Petty. When Petty rejected it, he pitched it to Henley who wrote words to it and took it to No. 5 in 1984.

By 1989, though Henley was trafficking in much of the same sexism and macho horseshit that would characterize the worst of his output with the Eagles. Mercifully, the public agreed and only the Reagan broadside “The End Of The Innocence” made much of an inroad in the charts.

Update On Pop Legends

I signed and mailed my contract this week (which doesn't necessarily mean I've gotten my advance) and the VERYLARGENEWSORGANIZATION at which I'm employed gave me "conditional approval" to work on the book, which essentially means if I write anything that embarrasses the company, they can fire me.

I'm officially writing a book. Hoodathunkit?

The list took literally two-and-a-half weeks to negotiate. The first effort on the part of the publisher was to try to spike half of the contemporary R&B and most of the hip hop, which leaves a hole in pop music that you could drive a truck through.

Then there was the debate that The Brill Building, Motown and The Sound of Philadelphia should be axed because they were topics rather than profiles about individual musicians. So they will mutate into profiles on Carole King and The O'Jays. Motown will be represented by the Supremes, Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder.

Efforts were made to spike Phil Spector and Quincy Jones because they were producers and not performers. We split the difference, so Spector is in and Quincy is out, which breaks my heart.

It baffles me that I had to fight for Spector. No peeking now. Name a Ronnette other than Ronnie Spector. Name one of the Crystals. Speaking for myself, I couldn't. And there's a fairly simple reason for the that. The artist on the record isn't what makes those songs special. What makes "Be My Baby" and "And Then He Kissed Me" classics is the way the songs were approached musically, the arrangements, the instrumentations. They were three minute pop-symphonies. Look, I love Darlene Love's voice as much as anyone. But you don't tell the story of pop music by telling Darlene Love's story. Phil Spector's is the story we need to tell.

Apparently the book will have these floating sidebars, which will allow me to take on some people who aren't in the main entries, so that will give me an opportunity to tell Quincy's story.

Mostly everything that wasn't from the rock era was eliminated. But not only that, almost every artist in the book from the rock lineage, which is a little odd, given that there's a separate Rock Legends book being published.

The next argument was over new hitmakers. Kanye West, Alicia Keys and Kelly Clarkson were eliminated as several of my friends predicted. I thought it was important to place some bets on pop artists today that will resonate years from now. Otherwise you have a book on popular music that does nothing but look backwards, which is sort of beside the point. Besides I thought all of these were pretty good bets. The publisher thought that anyone with a body of work that spanned less than five years was a dubious addition to a book on pop legends. The publisher won.

Chapters on MTV and American Idol were nixed.

Finally, the president of the publisher is British and wanted the Bay City Rollers. "We're going for an international audience," I was told (which doesn't explain why Selena and Jennifer Lopez were axed). Unbeknownst to me, the Rollers had 11 Top Ten hits in a row in the U.K. But I held the line and offered instead five Brit pop acts from the rock era. Three were requests: Cliff Richard, ELO, and Olivia Newton John. And two were my choices: The Jam and Oasis.

So what we're left with is listed below. It's not a perfect list. But I won my share of rounds and even got in a few shots after the bell.

Abba
Christina Aguilera
Beach Boys
Beastie Boys
Beatles
Bee Gees
Beyonce
Bobby "Blue" Bland
Mary J Blige
Michael Bolton
Bon Jovi
Booker T. & The MGs
Pat Boone
Boyz II Men
Garth Brooks
James Brown
Jackson Browne
Mariah Carey
The Carpenters
Ray Charles
Cher
Chicago
The Coasters
Sam Cooke
Culture Club
Bobby Darin
Neil Diamond
Dion
Celine Dion
Dixie Chicks
Fats Domino
Dr Dre
The Drifters
Duran Duran
Eagles
Earth Wind & Fire
Electric Light Orchestra
Eminem
En Vogue
Eurythmics
Everly Brothers
Fleetwood Mac
Four Seasons
Aretha Franklin
Marvin Gaye
Genesis
Goo Goo Dolls
Green Day
Al Green
Hall & Oates
The Jam/Style Council
Whitney Houston
The Impressions
Janet Jackson
Michael Jackson
Jay Z
Billy Joel
Carole King
Madonna
Barry Manilow
Paul McCartney
George Michael
Missy Elliott
Moby
The Monkees
Ricky Nelson
Olivia Newton John
Oasis
The O'Jays
Wilson Pickett
P Diddy
Pet Shop Boys
The Platters
Elvis Presley
Prince
Bonnie Raitt
Cliff Richard
Lionel Richie
Linda Ronstadt
Run DMC
Spice Girls
Frank Sinatra
Sly & The Family Stone
Phil Spector
The Spinners
Rod Stewart
Britney Spears
Dusty Springfield
Swen Stefani
Barbara Streisand
Donna Summer
The Supremes
James Taylor
Justin Timerlake/N*Sync
TLC
Shania Twain
Dionne Warwick
Jackie Wilson
Stevie Wonder

And now for the hard part…