Alternatives to Journalism

Days like today I ponder alternatives to this esteemed career path that I've chosen for myself.

1) Air-traffic control
Pro: Less stress
Con: Can be fired at any time by fascist presidents

2) Street Crime
Pro: More integrity
Con: Night hours only

3) Shepherding
Pro: Open air
Con: Persistent smell of lamb chops

Please feel free to forward any other suggestions. I'm a desperate man.